Tuesday, December 28, 2010

New Year - What Will You Be Doing?

Barbara was asking us what we will be doing on this New Years Eve?

Me, I'll either be sleeping or waking up, as I tend to be an early riser. Very early.

As for not spending it with a significant other?

I used to feel like I was missing out when I was younger, you know, like everyone who had a boyfriend or husband or whatever were part of some club I never seemed to belong to...

(I cared for ailing parents for most of my life, had a couple steadies, then spent the rest of my "free" time working and putting myself through college. Not exactly "sexy" according to those I encountered, hence I was not "in the club").

I think about the time I did have a steady, and went to a New Years Eve party.

I was never comfortable at these kinds of functions. The women were catty, and being a lightweight, wound up drinking too much, and spent the rest of the night leaning out of the side of his car, sick, with him saying "Can we go yet?"


One other New Year with 'beau', spending it with my parents, and 10 minutes before midnight, he wanted to go to HIS parents house (where I guess he thought it more lively than sick parents). We walked in at midnight.

I was not happy. I realized, if this was the "club" I thought I was missing out on all that time, I did not want to belong. I revoked my membership. No thanks!

Another boyfriend soon after, and I don't think we did anything for the New Year. He didn't even bother. It was then I went to college (I dated during High School and took off one semester between high school and college to date these winners).

And to think all that time, I thought I was missing out on something wonderful. Ha!

Once I hit college, there was little time for dating between all my responsibilities, and a steady, much less a husband, just wasn't in the cards.

Oh, now 1950's Atomic Ranch House lady was by NO means a "chaste nun", and had her male companion "encounters" tee hee, a topic for another day, I've known some wonderful men.

But for me, I was glad in the long run I didn't "couple up".

It wasn't easy caring for my parents, but I didn't go through the marriage and kids and divorces and affairs and nonsense my friends and acquaintances did. I guess they were trying to find that same "club of belonging" too, and never really did. Now they care for kids or grandkids and exs and parents and stopped acting like they belong to a private club I did not.

I can do what I want, when I want, wherever I want. I like that.

Funny how life unfurls, isn't it?

So what are the things you reflect on during the upcoming New Year?